


Gate Teams of Atlantis

by silent_h



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Firefly, How I Met Your Mother, Leverage, Merlin (TV), NCIS, Smallville, Stargate Atlantis, The Avengers (2012), The Big Bang Theory (TV), The Mentalist, Thor (Movies), Warehouse 13
Genre: 100 word drabbles, Angst, Cameos, Don't Have to Know Canon, Fluff, Gen, Guess the fandom!, Humour, Well duh, a bit of everything really, idek, team fic, too many characters to count
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-04-15
Packaged: 2017-12-08 14:58:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/762699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silent_h/pseuds/silent_h
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a whole lot of people in that city, and Pegasus is a big place. Which means, you've guessed it, there's gonna be a whole lot of gate teams as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gate Teams of Atlantis

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed (sorry!). Also, fandom tags in alphabetical order (mostly) instead of drabble order, just to make it more fun :P.  
> Basically, all you will probably get from this, is that Atlantis is seriously messed up, and that the gate teams are all sorts of crazy (but you knew that already).  
> (oh and most of the teams numbers are actually related to the fandoms, nope not sad at all)

* * *

  
**AR-3**  
  
“I thought she said she had a boyfriend.”

“You scientists and your quaint little categories.”

“We should really get her out of there...”

“Yeah…”

“No, seriously, we should. I don’t know what she touched on that planet but the scanner’s picking up really high levels of pheromones.”

“She’s a walking aphrodisiac?"

“Why do you think we’re not affected?”

“Maybe it only works on one person, maybe the ATA gene is some kind of natural protection, who knows?”

“Oi, you lot! Is that the new girl?”

“Yep?”

“Snogging Dr Weir?”

“Yep.”

“Owen, where are you going?”

“To find a video camera!”

* * *

**  
AR-4**

She still doesn’t know why she’s in Atlantis.

(best Disney film ever, apart from The Aristocrats, because _dude_ , singing cats)

She knows she’s just a tag-along, a hanger-on, a… a groupie (man she _hates_ groupies).

It isn’t until their 43rd mission (yeah she keeps score), when Jane gets knocked out, Eric shot and Thor partially blinded, and she spends a week by their (infirmary) bedsides that she realises.

Eric and Jane may be the brains and Thor the brawn (and general badassery) but she, ( _she!_ ) is the heart and soul of the team (and she makes absolutely _awesome_ get-well cupcakes) **.**

* * *

  
**AR-5**  
  
“Tell me about your team.”

“Sure you don’t want to hear about AR-1? _They’re_ the interesting ones.”

He twists my already broken arm.

“It’s a standard gate team. Couple o’ geeks, scary boss, hot chick, you know?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Genii women a bit on the dumpy side then? Buddy, I feel your pain.”

Another kick to the ribs. I ignore it.

“Maybe this will encourage you.”

A small hooded person is led into the room and forced into a chair.

I smile, as the hood is removed to reveal my missing, _presumed dead_ , teammate.

“So... how was your summer?”

* * *

  
**AR-6**  
  
“Are those dragons?”

He can hear muffled voices in the background like they’re underwater.

Underwater dragons, how cool is that?

“You may have given him a touch more morphine than the lad needed, but don’t worry, it’ll wear off in a few hours.”

“Well that’s just perfect.”

“It’s not his fault!”

“Well if he wasn’t being such a prat in the first place…”

He starts giggling, he’s not sure why, but he’s pretty sure, he’s _absolutely_ sure, it’s the goblin’s fault.

The dragons are still circling above him but now everything’s glowing.

He squints blearily, “Morgana, your eyes are _golden_.”

* * *

  
**AR-7**  
  
So here they were, _again_.

Running away from another angry alien chieftain that believed that Jane was insulting his god or chatting up his wife or calling his mother ugly.

Admittedly, he probably was, but still, couldn’t they have one mission where they _didn’t_ have to run to the Stargate?

There was a quiet _thwap_ , followed by a loud, ungainly yelp, and she smirked.

Maybe the humiliation (and the pain) of having an arrow pulled out of his backside would _finally_ teach the anthropologist some manners.

She’d be a lot more optimistic if it had worked the _last_ three times.

* * *

  
**AR-8**  
  
“Why are you here again?”

“Hey, now you might feel all high an’ mighty bein’ a doctor an’ all, but I’m pretty well known in my field as well.”

“Which is…?”

“You know, rescuin’, explorin’, general well-to-do stuff.”

“They’re not really words I’d associate with you.”

“Well field work ain’t exactly a notion I’d link to you either. I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree, hey?”

“Okay…?”

“Oh fer-the-love-o’… Zoe! Tell the good doctor why I’m in Atlantis.”

“Because the IOA reckoned you were too friendly with the Orici, sir.”

“That… that is insubordination! I’m filing a complaint!”

* * *

  
**AR-9**  
  
“You’re leaving aren’t you? Is it something I did, something I said, something Cap said? Because he takes it back.”

“I could just use some female company right now. And we’ve already worked it out, I’m going to join AR-4 and you guys can have Thor.”

“I like redheads better than blondes.”

“You’ve got Natasha.”

“That’s like saying, ‘instead of the puppy you’ve always wanted, I put poison in your birthday cake ’.”

“…maybe we can swap Eric for Maria, you know, make it an all-girl team.”

“As long as there are naked pillow fights. And I get to watch.”

* * *

  
**AR-10**  
  
“It’s okay, I get it. This team is cursed. I’d leave if I could.”

“It’s not that, it’s just you don’t like me.”

“Wait, what!?”

“The others liked me, hell even _Donna_ liked me and she didn’t like most people. Now they’re… gone, you don’t have to pretend.”

“Jack, please don’t-”

“I spent a lot of time trying to get back onto your team but now I’ve realised. I don’t need you to solve my battles.”

“…I understand.”

“Besides, if I don’t get back to my team soon they’ll be a power struggle. Hopefully, resolved by some naked mud wrestling.”

* * *

  
**AR-11**  
  
He tries not to like her, really, he does, but he just can't help it.

She's funny and smart and curious, and reminds him of the Ponds so much that he can actually forget the pain.

So yeah, he likes her.

Not in _that_ way, because he's a very happily married man, and he prefers his genitals intact, thank you very much, but in the (this isn't a chat-up line but would you like to explore the Pegasus galaxy with me?) way that he’s pretty sure his wife understands.

After all, she’s the one that invited Clara onto the team.

* * *

  
**AR-12**  
  
“That’s my spot.”

“Excuse me?”

“I always stand between those two.”

“Why?”

“They are the polar opposites of this team.”

“Huh?”

“ _He_ has a different accent, skin colour and speech pattern than the rest of the team and _he_ is extremely repulsive, obnoxious and sexually offensive while being incredibly outdated, so if I stand between them I’m less likely to be shot or publically executed.”

“I’m pretty sure that was racist, dude.”

“What do you mean outdated!?”

“Oh _sweetie_ , I can see why you guys get through captains faster than underwear.”

“Fascinating. That’s something that still continues to elude me.”

* * *

  
**AR-13**  
  
“Pegasus can be a dangerous place, especially to the misinformed, the ignorant, the ones in the dark...”

“Fine, what do I need to know?”

“First never give _anyone_ except me caffeine. Second, when Artie says he wants your report in now, you’ve got about another week or so before he explodes. Third, you junior agent, me senior agent, so follow my lead, ya hear?”

“You’ve only been on the team for a few-”

“Follow. My. Lead.”

“Okay…”

“And last but not least, are you military?”

“No…?”

“Good, because the other chicks on the team are so blatantly gay it’s _distracting_.”

* * *

  
**AR-14**  
  
She watches the team, sitting at their table: laughing, smiling, _belonging_.

She’s not stupid; she knows she’s not welcome.

Once, maybe, but now?

No; the whole IOA affair had proven to them that wasn’t to be trusted, wasn’t to be included.

If anyone had asked she would have admitted that she misses them. No one asks.

Until one day, they call her over to their table. The girls still don’t trust her, (and neither do the guys) but they try. It’s not much, but it’s way, _way_ more than she deserves after she betrayed them.

He calls her Mercy again.

* * *

  
**AR-15**  
  
She _really_ didn’t want to be here.

Sure, the whole different galaxy thing sounded fun, but she had imagined zipping ‘round in spaceships, blowing up space stations, overthrowing empires.

Okay, maybe she’s watched Star Wars too many times, but still. She’d expected that it’d be her, and her badass gate team, single-handedly saving the galaxy.

She expected that she’d at least have a badass gate team.

Some team leaders complained about botanists and anthropologists but man, did she envy them. Who, on careers’ day, goes: ‘I want to be an architectural historian when I grow up’?

Apparently Ted Mosby did.

* * *

  
**AR-16**  
  
“You need some space!?”

“…”

“We’re in a different galaxy, how much more space could you need!?”

“I just… need to find myself.”

“And is this a lifetime achievement or…?”

“A year, maybe…”

“A Lantean year or an Earth year?”

“That’s the problem!”

“…”

“I’m used to working on my own, on Earth, where no disturbs me or annoys me-”

“Annoys you!?”

“-being part of a team, living in Atlantis is wonderful, but it’s… different.”

“I see.”

“Nate…”

“Well maybe when you’re done ‘finding yourself’, you’ll realise that the rest of us don’t care who you are, as long as you’re here.”

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Just finished this and I've already got ideas for more teams with different fandoms. And I really, really want to develop some of these into actual, full length fics. I've got backstories in my head for pretty much every character that has appeared in here-is that sad? Also, I think it's easy to work out where each of the teams come from (easy when you know the answer, isn't it?) but I tried not to make it too obvious. First person to guess them all gets, I don't know, a virtual cookie (and eternal gratitude for commenting on my fic). Oh, and if they looked weird it's 'cause I'm still not used to AO3's formatting yet.


End file.
